church... precious precious church

so as many of you (you know, all like... 5 of you that actually read this) know, church has been snowed over for the past 2 weeks and today i feel like the wanderer who has finally found water in the desert, and its not for the gospel, because i have a computer with access to talks and i have my scriptures, but i miss all of my friends and church is usually my only window into that world, and its good to be back, even though the heat is so high in the building im seconds away from falling asleep in there.

im planning on heading to the big big dance on new years, hope to see you all there, and just to let you all know dancing is great excersize, and its fun, so perhaps for those of you whos new years resolution it is to lose weight, perhaps instead of just trying to diet, and going to the gym (which is no fun) go dancing instead, take lessons (WAY MORE FUN!) just a thought, it helped me, i used to weigh about 300 lbs.

i dont want crocodiles or rhinoceroseses

christmas list!
I got a coffee table, new shoes, new garments, new socks, a new flashlight, a yellow tuxedo jacket (NOT NEW, vintage from the 70s) and a fifty dollar bill.

and ive been a cashier too long, after pulling the fifty out of the card i immediately checked the watermark, the number strip and the gold to green stamp.

it was real.

so christmas has come and gone, and life, hopefully, returns to normal, getting presents is fun and exciting but overall this holiday season has been a depressing exclamation point to a depressing year.

i have so much to be happy and excited for, but i usually dont feel it, i have friends and family that love me yet i always seem to be surrounded with gloom, even though i dont show it. going dancing my allow me to ignore it for a brief period of time, but, ultimately the doom and gloom that is my life rush back in like the tide.

i am not as active as i wish i were, i play more video games than i want to. but i usually have nothing else to do, and it is the only thing that i have that wont bore me to sleep. i want to do things, i need to do things, i need to get my license, i need to start dating women, i need to fill my free time with worthwhile activities, i wish my job had a set schedule so i could plan things out weeks in advance, sadly i get maybe a week and a half to plan stuff.

if you plan or hear of something i might be interested in, please let me know, as i am bike bound currently, i may need/desire rides, i am willing to compensate for gas and the like. but i am going to make getting a license a priority, then a car.

ive already thought of my new years resolution, last year i resolved to not procrastinate and put it off til this year, and its on my list, but getting a license, dating and not being so bloody depressed all the time are also resolutions that i have, and i am not to proud to refuse help.

the finer points in life always seem to dissapoint

friday was one of the hardest days i can remember dealing with, some times i get so depressed that i get so unsure of what to do, part of me wants to get over the issue, but on the other hand the other part doesn't want to, i still want to pursue it, but i cant at the moment without creating weird awkward situations, so im torn between whether to wait it out and see if it goes my way (which of course means it will have to go against someone else, and i consider this person a friend) because im worried that if i am not prepared that the same will happen again and i will be to slow to act on events and circumstances, and part of me wants to blame the snow for ruining my chances, but then again i could see some of the events unfolding well before sunday. a friend has offered me advice, and i know that it is good advice, but i don't know if i want to give up yet, i just wish that i could express my feelings better in times and situations where its actually important.

white week and a half before christmas

so the snow came, people freaked, people got in accidents, church was canceled and some people didnt have to work, i still did.

the roads arent too hard to drive on, even without chains, if your careful. so because it will supposedly snow again on wednesday, everyone who was caught completely off guard by sundays will be packing themselves into the stores to stock up on you name it.

i even remember on last thursday checking out the fella who realized he didnt have enough beer if he got snowed in, doesnt need food or water... nope... beer.

there are a lot of crazies running around out there folks, drive safe.

I was wrong

okso the last 5 years the snow never comes when the weather dude says it will, and then all out of the blue this year it actually arrives on time. how was I supposed to know, of course, the snow ruined all of my plans for the day. but im sure i can always postpone them, and i recently found out i should have done it on saturday in the morning but i didnt know that until later that day.

I get to go to work tommorow, no clue how thats going to work though... i guess we will see eh?

power of the atom

so my xbox is still out of the state being fixed, and in its absence (and the absence of fallout 3) ive taken to the first 2 games, already re beat the first and am half through the second, still good times, definately want the 360 back though, i miss it so.

hip hop crisy

last night, me n my posse had a party,
we all got together though some were tardy.
but it was chill and we all watched the knight,
and ate a bunch of soup, you know thats right!

so my party went really good and i want to thank everyone that came, and as far as everyone else there will be other parties. so no frets k?

appoints

ok, now i am officially done being mopey about stuff, mopey is the start of a not good path anyhow and i dont want to waste my time, its good for no one, and as ive stated on my facebooks and my other space im starting early for next years halloween.

so far i have a friend who is going to let me have 12 tires and a stop sign, and if he has an old power drill he said i could have that too...

what am i you may be asking, why... a wasteland warrior of course, many of you have likely not seen mad max or one of the rip off movies, cause they are usually r rated, unless theyve been edited for the telly, but if you have you get the idea.

long story short, after the apocalypse we will have to make body armor out of recycled trash. if you wanna join my wasteland gang let me know, i have plenty of tires to make armor from.

dissapoints part duex

so on top of what i already said, the main reason that i feel the way i do is because it took me a very very long time to actually do it, not because of sloth, but if anything more out of fear, i worry that it may be a while before i try it again, but i hope that im not in a rut about it. i just need more self confidence i guess, and i dont know what store sells it by the dozen.

and on another sad note, the box for my broken xbox came today and i sent it out, i know ill get a new one or this one fixed, but i still feel the same way i did as a child when i had to flush my beta down the toilet.

dissappoints

I tried to do something last night that I hadn't tried in a long time, and much like last time it didn't really turn out the way I had hoped, it still turned out ok, but with it not going how I wanted it, I wonder if maybe there is something wrong with how I am going about it, or if maybe there is just something wrong with me. I can't quite put my finger on it.